Ban Imposter Syndrome: Emotional Intelligence is Your Power Partner
Recently, Seth Godin posted a blog titled, “You’re Not That Good”. My knee jerk reaction was a defiant, “How do you know? Who put you in charge?” My second thought was that most people are too polite to use those words; however, I catch myself saying those very words to me. That little imposter imp sits on my shoulder and whispers, “You aren’t good enough. Everyone is smarter and more experienced than you. You shouldn’t be here. You don’t belong in this room.”
And then, I read the blog which offers some excellent suggestions to become "better":
1. Practice to improve your skills.
2. Find supporters who can be mentors.
3. Adapt your approach and possibly shift direction.
4. Continue the cycle until you are “good enough” to be in the room where you want.
This is where the five core levels of Em
otional Intelligence can be a practical tool to travel Godin’s suggested route on your way to becoming better. You already own these tools -- though you may have put them in a safe but forgotten place.
When you hear that little imp on your shoulder hiss, “you’re not good enough”, STEP AWAY.
As you distance yourself, state the goal you aspire. Clarify the passion you bring. Remember the unique value you possess.
Speak back to that little imposter imp with a calm assert
ive tone. Develop your goal message so that it communicates your authentic self with clarity and power.
Next, activate your problem-solving skills. What is the gap that must be closed to achieve your goal? Do you need to learn new skills, manage your priorities, or take a different approach?
Once you’ve begun this list, gather supportive people who can share knowledge, network connections, and opportunities for practice. The strength of the community you build is the variety of perspectives each can share with you. Most importantly, make sure to include people who will be candid and kind.
The path toward being MORE than “good enough” is neither straight nor smooth. Resilience is the tool that gets used most often. You make a mistake. A setback happens over which you had no control. Whatever the reason when you start to doubt your abilities the imposter imp will reappear. Knock that little imp from its perch on your shoulder by being curious and examining what happened, why it happened, and how you can move forward using this new information.